A Smoker's Story....."I Just Want To Live"

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Personal stories - Ray

"I was 15 when I started smoking. I don't know why I started. I always said I wouldn't because my dad smoked. I used to give my dad a hard time. He used to smoke in the car and everywhere else. In the car he'd open the window a little bit and flick out the ash and it would fly back at me, so I really hated it when I was younger.

I smoke rollups now, probably about 10 or 12 a day. To be honest I don't know what I enjoy about smoking - not a lot, it's just kind of something you have to do. I've tried to quit once before and that proved pretty futile.

I stopped cold turkey and lasted a day and a half, then I went to the pub and had a cigarette. It's drink that does it. If you start drinking that's when you really desperately want a fag.

I can get through the bit where you're at work, that's not a major problem, it was easier than I thought it would be, it's the pub bit that did me in. I went to watch an England match with three or four of my mates who were all smoking, and you just cave in. I think I lasted two to three hours and then just caved in. I imagine that's quite a standard way that people screw up.

The problem is I keep looking for the right moment, for the right time when I haven't got a great deal on, I'm not going away or going to the pub. I'm trying to find the perfect time. But now I've come to terms with the fact that there is no perfect time to try and give up smoking. So I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and go for it. I'll probably try to give up using gum, if not that then cold turkey.

I want to give up for health reasons, because of what smoking could do to me in the future. I always said I'd give up when I was 30.

I haven't yet. And I meant to. It's health reasons entirely. Plus my girlfriend doesn't like my smoking, so I wouldn't mind giving it up for that reason too. I quite like the idea of not smoking. It's all very nice to think of it in your mind but then at the same time you just have to do it.

One of the problems I've got is a routine where the walk from my house to the bus to get to work is long enough to have a cigarette, so I leave the house, roll a cigarette, and smoke it on the way to the bus. And I've been trying to knock out that habit.

Smoking is a really strange thing anyway in the sense that you do always feel kind of alienated, where you go to someone's house and even though they smoke you still feel guilty when you have a cigarette. The main focus is against smoking nowadays, whereas 10 to 15 years ago it was never an issue. So wherever you go you feel sort of alienated. It's a bit strange."

EDITOR'S NOTE

Making the decision to stop smoking is the first critical step to becoming an ex-smoker.

You can strengthen your resolve even more by understanding your addiction to smoking, knowing the different quitting methods available, and by properly preparing for the first day you stop. You'll be more in control when you stop smoking, stronger throughout the process, and have a better chance of staying off cigarettes for good.

Why it's hard to quit
It's more than just nicotine addiction.
Ways to quit
Find the way that works best for you.
Getting ready
A little preparation can make giving up easier.

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